When Christmas Sneaks Up on You
It was Sunday, December 24th, 2017. While enjoying breakfast with my husband, preparing for another day, I realized, “Tomorrow is Christmas!” Perplexed, “How did we not know that?”
The answer was easy. We were in the middle of caregiving for my father. One day eclipsed into the next. Our focus was not on our home or what day of the year it was. It was about being there for my mom and dad. Doing what we could to help support their needs.
Caregiving, Time, and Fading Rituals
Looking back, that season reminds me of how easily our own sense of time, rituals, and even joy can fade into the background when someone we love is suffering.
Glancing around, our home looked barren. Not a single Christmas decoration. It looked as though the Grinch had already visited. And yet, beneath that emptiness, there was still a quiet longing to bring a bit of joy to others.
A Spontaneous Beach Tradition Is Born
As many of my ideas often arise, I blurted out, “There’s no point putting our tree up here. No one will see it. Let’s load it in our car, pick up some candy, and put the tree up on the beach and hand out candy.”
My husband got that “Here we go again look” and off we went.
And thus, our holiday tradition began. What began as a spur-of-the-moment idea in the midst of caregiving has become one small way of honoring the tenderness of that time.
Joy on the Beach
The result was heartwarming. Beachgoers LOVED it!
People wanted their pictures taken with our tree, often to send home to their friends in the north.
The joy in fully grown adults, putting their hand in the ‘candy bag’, picking their favorite candy. The childlike smiles on their faces.
In those brief exchanges, it felt as though we were all giving and receiving at the same time, each smile a reminder that connection still lives alongside fatigue, worry, and grief.
Honestly, is there any gift better than a genuine smile filled with joy?
What Joy Offers in Hard Seasons
And here’s the thing about joy. Joy can help offset and even balance the sorrows and grief that we also carry. It doesn’t erase what hurts, but it can soften the edges just enough for us to catch our breath.
Sympathetic joy is when we find happiness or delight in the good fortune or joy of others.
It’s good for our minds, our hearts, and even our bodies. Evidence suggests this kind of joy can help reduce stress and its related impacts. When we allow ourselves to feel joy in another’s happiness, we are practicing compassion in a very real, embodied way, for them and for ourselves.
An Invitation for This Holiday Season
This holiday season, remember, you are on your own journey. Focus on what really matters most to you. You might even pause for a moment and gently ask yourself: “What do I most need this season… and what is one small way I can honor that?”
If you’re carrying sorrow, grief, or loss through the holiday season, consider if there is one small way you might bring a smile – a sense of joy – to another. If you’re in a place where that feels like too much, honor that with gentle kindness. Sometimes, it’s simply one step in front of the next. And that’s okay.
Compassion does not demand that you “be okay” – it invites you to meet yourself exactly where you are, with tenderness, patience, and care.
If You’re in New Smyrna Beach…
For those of you in or around the #NewSmyrnaBeach area, look for us on the beach, likely near Breakers or the main lifeguard station, donning our Santa hats, handing out candy in front of our tree. We have sixteen pounds of chocolate candy ready to go. If you see us, please stop by and say hi!
If this story stirred something in you and you’d like support in bringing more compassion into your own life—especially in the midst of stress, caregiving, or health challenges—you are warmly invited to explore Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) with me. You can learn more about the 8-week program here: Compassion Cultivation Training with Simone G.
For additional reflections on weaving compassion, peace, and joy into daily life, you may also appreciate these readings:
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