This morning, while reaching for my favorite mug—the one with a blue turtle on the side—I felt an all-too-familiar pain in my neck. As I continued to reach for the mug, the pain spread to behind my eyes and then continued on to the top of my head. I paused for a few seconds, noticing the weakness and tingling down my left arm, a feeling I know all too well. I reminded myself to stop reaching and to instead choose comfort and well-being over “I should be able to do this,” and then asked for help in reaching the mug.
As my husband reached for the mug, I exhaled, releasing frustration over my limitations while also feeling gratitude for the choice I made. Noticing these moments reminds me that we have agency to support our well-being through tiny, daily choices.
It’s surprising how small, almost invisible choices reveal our true needs. Years ago, I would have ignored pain for the sake of achieving my goals. Thankfully, wisdom has taught me that real progress does not rely on more hustle, more output, or pushing through at all costs. Real progress is the result of listening to and honoring our needs. Real progress supports our well-being; it does not allow for ego or pride to detract from it.
Now, I catch myself in that subtle turning point between self-criticism and self-compassion. Sometimes it happens with breath. Other times, it’s a gentle word or simply a smile at the uncertainty of a new day.
The truth is, these moments—quick as the steam rising from my coffee— shape my life.
The Truth About Big Bold Goals versus Tiny Actions
Often, we believe our well-being must be earned through big goals or bold resolutions. This belief can be especially strong for those of us who are achievers. As an achiever, it can feel counterintuitive—even weak—to choose ease when we’ve long been taught that pushing through discomfort is the sign of strength. As a result, we often find ourselves caught in the cycle of pushing through, even when the decision results in pain, fatigue, or other symptoms that negatively impact our day.
This is where The Power of I Can’t® comes into play. By accepting our limitations, we can make better choices for our well-being. We are better equipped to recognize when an action or habit no longer supports us. We can finally let go of “powering through” and instead act with self-compassion and courage to honor the needs of our mind and body, even if that means asking for help or setting aside what we think we “should” do based on societal, cultural, or even familial norms.
Daily Choices
There’s good news! Our days are filled with dozens of these tiny decision points. For example, we can choose:
- to go for a short walk instead of spending another hour at the desk
- to gently stretching rather than ignoring a stiff neck
- To rest or meditate for 20 minutes when exhaustion feels heavy
- and to welcome stillness and space over fitting “one more thing” into an already busy schedule.
Over time, these small and mindful acts of self-care accumulate, building a foundation for improved overall well-being. Six months later, you might find yourself with more energy, experiencing less stress, and enjoying a general sense of calm that permeates your daily life.
This is what it means to BalanceUP® your lifestyle. It’s the simple process of honoring yourself in small ways that provides space for your mind and body to rest and heal, thereby better supporting your prioritized goals. Approaching life in this mindful manner can enhance your well-being and lead to a life that feels calmer. A life that feels steadier and more authentically your own.
A Commitment to Yourself
So, the next time you find yourself at a tiny fork in the road, when you hear yourself making an ‘I should’ statement, pause and greet that voice with your internal wisdom. Ask yourself: “What do I truly need in this moment? How can I offer the same kindness to myself that I would wish for a dear friend?” To cement this self-compassionate question into memory, consider taking a moment to write your answer on a sticky note. Place it somewhere visible as a gentle reminder of your commitment to honoring your needs.
Each time you do this, you are building your skills for this practice to become more natural. In time, you might even notice that your default becomes an act of self-care first. And that’s a beautiful way of living.
A moment to ponder:
Our well-being isn’t built on big, bold resolutions or goals. Well-being rises from the quiet, consistent courage to choose to do things differently, right here, right now, in a way that honors your deepest, truest needs. What is one small choice you can make today that honors who you are—right now, in this moment?
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